I’ll Fly Away

NOTE: To protect the identity and confidentially of everyone involved all names and when possible locations have been changed.

By this time the entire town knew. I bumped into a couple of my old teachers, and my mom’s old boss. Past and present neighbors somehow managed to get a hold of me as well. They all had more questions than I had answers. One rumor was that there was a problem with the heating in the house and dogs were dead too. That was not the case. 

Grandma and I were busy preparing for the visitation and funeral; however we did make one quick trip to the credit union in town to discuss my mom’s car loan. Since Pastor Franklin was unavailable Pastor Bennett, who was the current pastor of the Assemblies of God church that I attended when I was in town would be officiating.

The visitation would be open to the public that night however we had a private family visitation before the public arrived. I braced myself before the entering the room. It was a very pretty lady in that open casket, however I had to look a few times to make sure it was my mom. She was dressed nice and her hair and make-up were done. My mom had never looked like that in all the years I knew her. 

I felt someone behind me. I turned around and there was Pastor Bennett. We had a long embrace. We went over a few things for the funeral or the service as it came to be called. He asked me about an invitation for non-believers to receive Christ. Of course, I was all for that, however I needed to respect my grandma and ask her. 

More people turned up for the visitation than I imagined. Two of my athletic coaches from high school, numerous teachers, and many classmates that I had no idea even knew who my mom was all showed up to give their love and support. 

I was getting a bit overwhelmed and tried on a couple of occasions to escape to be myself, but had no luck. I got followed every time I left to make sure I was ok. 

After a long night at the funeral home grandma and I grabbed a bite to eat and returned to our hotel room. The next day would be the funeral. 

For some reason that morning I was dragging my feet. Getting me out of bed had always been a difficult task, but that particular morning it was harder. Grandma had never been much of a disciplinarian for me, but she did have to force me out of bed that morning. I still remember her telling me she didn’t want to do this anymore than I did. Pastor Bennett called to go over the service. Grandma asked that there not be an invitation and that was respected. 

To honor my mom I wore the dress she had bought me for the school’s annual spring banquet the previous year.  While mom sure tried, I never did go to my high school prom so she enjoyed taking me spring banquet dress shopping. It was the prom dress shopping we never did together. I enjoyed it too, but I was ready for it to be over before she was.

The opportunity was given for anyone to share a memory. Connie blinked back the tears as she shared a number of memories she had of my mom. She would also write a memorial for her that was printed in the newspaper.  

As Barb sang Holy Ground she made it a point to say my mom loved Holy Ground.  We concluded the service with “I’ll Fly Away.” The casket was opened for anyone who wanted to come have one last look. I remember telling my mom at that moment I’d see her soon.

I was met with more open arms after the service. While no one except Connie was comfortable sharing in front of everyone quite a few people shared with me afterwards. I had no idea how well liked she was. I know now that she didn’t either.

We all proceeded to the cemetery. It took some thinking, but we did come up with eight pall bearers. After saying goodbye to my mom I got in a car with my grandma and eight men laid my mom to rest. It wouldn’t be until later I realized it was Valentine’s Day. 

As with all funerals a luncheon followed. We were somehow able to use the local VFW for it, although I couldn’t tell you who was a member of it. Ironically enough, it was located next door to the other funeral home in town. As luck would have it I bumped into Paul, the other funeral director. I had been on a first name basis with him and his wife for years. He gave me a hug. I apologized, and told him that if it were up to me I would have chosen him. He didn’t even flinch.

After gorging ourselves we headed to my mom’s house to go through some of her things.  The rest of the family was going to have to see the house eventually. I drove separately and got there after they did. I conveniently stopped for a soda on the way. They were all shocked when they walked inside. It would take months before grandma and I talked about it.

The rest of the family left and grandma and I went to her house. Jackie and Jane were due to arrive later that evening. I was looking forward to a little normalcy. We read every card together. We shared a few memories and shed a few tears. A telemarketer interrupted us briefly, but grandma handled it well and we returned to what we were doing. 

I had never been good at giving directions so I met Jackie and Jane on the edge of town.  They came to meet grandma before we left for Barb’s. Grandma took a liking to Jackie right away. After seeing the way I’d been living for so many years she hoped she would be a good role model for me. 

We all crashed in Barb’s basement for the weekend. Jane loved kids and spent some time with the kids while we were there. Jackie wanted us to be able to talk and make sure I was doing ok.

Even though the funeral was over phone calls were still coming. A couple friends from school, as well as some town folks who had just seen the paper and missed the funeral called to pay their respects. I spent half the day Saturday with grandma and the other half with my friends. 

The next night would be the evening of praise and worship in honor of my mom. Barb led us in all of my mom’s favorite praise and worship songs and tried to make them as rocky as possible. (Anyone who knew my mom will get that.) Pastor Bennett gave a brief message and dug out music to one of mom’s all-time favorite hymns “Sweet Sweet Anointing.” That was a wonderful surprise. It had been so many years since I heard that song I had forgotten about it.   

The next morning we stopped at my grandma’s while I said goodbye. I hopped in Jackie’s car and we returned to school. I was going to attempt to return to a normal life.